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vandy
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Feb. 17th, 2009 @ 06:32 pm
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one of my interviewers summed up vandy pretty well: just like uab but bigger and better. vandy as a hospital is fairly impressive, their research enterprise is growing with lots of research money, nashville seems more happening than uab, medical center in middle of vandy campus. sounds great, no? i don't know. sounds great, but i just didn't feel it. opportunities are there, but i just can't see myself there. guess it's just a gut feeling thing. maybe it's because i went into the interview knowing i prob won't rank it as high (due to its location). regardless, i am not even sure if i'll prefer to be at vandy than at uab. uab actually sounds more strong in heme malignancies, i have a good research mentor here, and it's close to atlanta.
this interview process is exhausting... four down, 8 or so more to go....Current Mood:  hungry Current Music: John Cale - Hallelujah (Live) |
sitting at the philly airport - coming back from columbia and NIH interviews. my impressions:
columbia
they were very conscientious about memorial - the chair gave a intro and compared itself to memorial few times, and memorial did come up a few times during the interview. you'd expect columbia to be really strong in everything since it is columbia, but it's not. it's strengths are lymphoma, breast, prostate. it's actually a fairly small cancer center, compared to uab. a bit weaker than uab... but its basic sciences are great, it being columbia. fellows seemed to be really friendly, faculty seemed very nice, especially the program director. their division chief relatively new, they want to focus on developing careers of academics people, like me... seemed like they would be very supportive of me staying there as faculty after my lab research and stuff. only draw backs - no subsidized housing in nyc, and they don't have a great clinical presence in leukemia. i'll have to consider.... it'll be interesting to compare columbia w memorial.
NIH
a really strange place! foran was right - research, of course is phenominal. but clinically, very strange. so they have this clinical research hospital - 90% of patients there are some protocol - they are mostly failed therapy people w metastatic disease. good thing is, i would be very experienceed w clinical research protocols. downside? i still need to be a good oncologist and i am not sure how much experience they have diagnosing and treating disease accoridng to standard of care. but then, what is standard of care? standard of care always changes anyway..... for their standard of care stuff they go to georgetown or naval hospital, and for leukemia, they go to hopkins. seems scattered.... i don't know. and the fellows seemed a bit.... nerdy.... i don't know.... it's a great program in theory, and i'll be okay w it, but i just didn't feel it.
so the search for the perfect program continues....Current Mood:  tired Current Music: The Postal Service - Such Great Heights |
i know people don't really read this anymore; these days my life consists of hospital work and thinking about and planning interviews. i am not sure how many interviews to go on; i think i'll probably go on as many as possible. anyways, i guess i'll use this space periodically to remind myself of my thoughts and impressions about each programs.
so here's program #1, moffitt
i think the above picture tells a lot. beach, ocean, warm weather. the cancer center actually is a very impressive of a place. moffitt actually split from USF a year ago, so it's a free standing institution, kinda like sloan kettering or md anderson. i don't think that affects fellowship in any way though. the place is fairly new, and impression i got was that it's a rapidly expanding place with strengths in several areas. for the area that i really care about, heme malignancies, it has some big names, like alan list. the program director talked to me for like 45 min, telling me about everything the program has to offer, and it seems like the program is looking for and would be very supportive of the kind of stuff i would want to pursue. the fellows i met seemed very happy and satisfied. the only question though is tampa as a city, i think. but otherwise, i think it's a first-rate place - almost too good of a place for me to have used as a first interview. i was thoroughly impressed, and i think it'll be higher than lower on my list of programs.Current Mood:  content Current Music: The Killers - Mr. Brightside |
i'm on micu, and i caused my first pneumothorax. it was a patient i admitted as a transfer from liver service - a very sick patient with fulminant liver failure. anyways, he got intubated, i was putting an ultrasound-guided IJ. it was a very strange IJ for some reason - i had a very clear view of the IJ, but for some reason i was not getting a flash. my intern couldn't get it so i tried and involved multiple pokings with the needle. after several attempts, i finally got the IJ. checked the chest x-ray, and i guess i must not have looked carefully enough. i didn't catch the pneumo until the second chest x-ray 4 hours later. the patient actually desatted between those 4 hours, i assumed 1st chest x-ray was okay, bumped up the vent settings, did a large volume paracentesis (he had massive ascites) to see if it was the ascites compressing the lungs somehow. it wasn't until when i checked the 2nd x-ray that i thought to check for a pneumo... it was big...50% of left lung by that point. needless to say, pt got a chest tube and pneumo went away, sats improved.
it was a huge mishap on my part. how could i have just missed that? why didn't i relook at the chest x-ray instead of assuming it was okay?
i've done about 40 of these without complications, i guess it was bound to happen. i guess what really bothers me is the fact that i didn't look carefully enough. granted, it was micu call and it was 1 in the morning and there were other sick patients to worry about, but i should have looked and thought more.
one can only learn from one's mistakes, and i certainly won't make this mistake again.
i still feel uninspired and bored. submitted my application nov 30th, waiting for interviews....Current Mood: bored Current Music: Mick Boogie & Terry Urban - The Reverse Fix [Prod. By Mick Boogie & nVMe] |
these days i feel pretty uninspired. everyday seems to be repeat of the day prior. everything seems to be a routine. tomorrow doesn't seem any more exciting than today or yesterday.
am i depressed? no. the only SIGECAPS (stands for Sleep, Interest, Guilt, Energy, Concentration, Appetite, Psychomotor, Suicidal - have to meet something like 4 + depressed mood for 2 weeks for major depressive disorder) i meet is maybe lack of interest.
perhaps it's because i am stuck in a limbo. i am in middle of a stretch of 3 straight months of wards months - did heme/onc, cards, about to do micu. and i am in middle of preparing my application for fellowship. and i haven't had a day off in like more than a week. and i am just coming off of overnight call. and because for some reason 2nd year of residency year is more stressful and harder and has longer hours than i ever did during intern year. (during heme/onc i basically admitted 2/4 patients, and during cards i carried my own in addition to supervising my intern's patients).
life will get better (or busier?) in the new year as i hopefully start interviewing, plotting my escape from b'ham. but honestly, more and more, i feel like edward norton's character in fight club, stuck in monotonous routines of life. maybe i need to make soap, form a fight club. or maybe i should just suck it up and get through this stretch of boring life.
man, i can't wait until nov/december is over.Current Mood: bored Current Music: Queen - Under Pressure |
so life is actually quite busy nowadays, with limited time and lots of stuff to do/think about. i'm working in a lab right now, and actually my lab hours are a lot longer than they were when i was in the hospital, and there's certainly more thinking involved. anyways, i actually have lots to do, so i thought i may make a list.
- labwork - lots to read, more experiments. only one more month!
- licensing paperwork - now that i passed step3, have to get a license to....
- moonlighting paperwork - gotta make money! turns out there's a lot of paperwork involved in moonlighting... have to get a license get a DEA number, fill out approval forms, etc
- fellowship stuff - i am applying to fellowship in a few months! better work on stuff like personal statement, talk to people for letters, etc.
- read - i'll be an upper-level resident come october (i.e. i get to run the show). i've been out of clinical medicine since like may, so i may be the weakest resident ever if i don't read something and know what's going on.
- cook - i was supposed to try out new recipes and stuff, but haven't yet had time to, with being busy with labwork and all....
- violin? - was gonna practice again....
- workout? - again, have to find the time (and energy....)
hopefully writing these things down has reminded me of all the stuff i'm supposed to be doing.Current Mood:  busy Current Music: Straylight Run - It's For The Best |
i know i haven't posted anything in ages, i don't even know who reads this anymore. (although as a nurse in the hospital pointed out to me, if you search "uab heme onc" on google, this site of mine is the 6th one that shows up, way above the actual uab heme onc fellowship page.......) but i felt writing something so here it goes.
i just came back from andrew's wedding in chapel hill - it was a really great wedding. saira and andrew look very happy, and i could tell that andrew, even with his baseline indifferent look, was genuinely happy. i am very happy for them. i also got to see sonia, who i haven't seen for more than a year, so that was really nice too. pictures will be up in facebook whenever i return to birmingham. (currently in atl)
included in this wedding was a 12 hour car ride with danny, and combined with some recent happenings, i had a chance to think about life in general.
so what is life? back in college, when i was a hardcore science person, when i read erwin schrödinger's "what is life" and took courses like statistical mechanics, i used to have a fairly cold, rigid definition of life - life is simply a result of lots of molecules governed by laws of quantum mechanics and thermodynamics coming together to form building blocks of life, i.e. dna->rna->proteins->organs, neurons, consciousness.
but as i go through life in the medical profession and as i see countless old, frail, dying patients, i began to have develop a different perspective on life. i don't think it really matters what we think life or its purpose is. i think what's important is to enjoy and appreciate life for what it is. what makes life special is that everything happens just once - for me it's important to try to live my life to the fullest, and to appreciate whatever happens, whether it be great happy moments or mistakes or drama or whatever. because, in the end, a dying person would give anything to experience what i am able to go through.Current Mood:  contemplative Current Music: Something Corporate - Konstantine |
recently, after reading about iron-skillets on GQ, i decided to get one and try it out. there was a recipe for steak on the last issue, so i tried it out:
Serves one to two
1 strip steak of the best quality you can afford, 1¼ to 1½ inches thick
kosher salt
cracked black pepper
Directions
1>Take the steak out of the fridge about an hour befor ecooking and let it come to room temperature. If you have a cookie rack, lay it on that so it doesn't sit in its own juices
2>Place a cast-iron pan over medium-high heat for 5 minutes, or till it's basically smoking.*
3>Thoroughly dry the steak with paper towels. Generously salt it on all sides. Add some pepper.
4>Lay the steak in the pan and cook it, untouched, for about 5 minutes. Flip and cook for 5 more minutes for rare to medium-rare. you may also want to prop the steak on its side to sear the fat.
5>Remove the steak from the pan, place on the cookie rack, and let rest for 5 minutes.
6>Serve with a drizzle of good extra-virgin olive oil, if you're feeling Italian.
*If you have a vent over your stove, use it. If not, open your windows and front door, turn on a fan, and remove the batteries from your smoke detector. seriously.
the recipe, while simple, produced a tasty steak! the steak really was medium-rare, and my whole place did fill up with smoke. i suggest opening your windows before cooking it.Current Mood: satisfied Current Music: Sean Kingston - Beautiful Girls |
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snow!!
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Jan. 19th, 2008 @ 05:36 pm
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it actually snowed (although quite briefly) over here in b'ham! woke up this morning, walked to my car to discover maybe a half an inch of snow on my car. and after done with my work this morning, i saw snow! i mean, granted it wasn't snow like in the northeast or colorado or anything, but it still was snow and it was nice. i think snow in b'ham is like a once in a 4-year kind of thing.
thankfully, snow didn't really accumulate and stopped and there wasn't ice or anything on the roads. i can't imagine what these b'ham people would do if there was ice or something.
anyways, made use of my new camera, took some pictures:
outside of my place  from top of hospital garage  more view of b'ham with snow  Current Mood:  complacent Current Music: Shayne Ward - Breathless |
so i've been rethinking my career options lately. well, not about medicine itself, but about cards. i was planning to do research with this cards bigshot, but that plan fell through very recently. i saw this as an opportunity to ask the question, do i really want to do cards for the rest of my life? is it really for me? and upon thinking about it, i am no longer absolutely sure i want cards. no, it's not about matching - finding another bigshot cards person to work with and matching isn't a huge deal around here.
what i did like about cards was the wide variety of options, potential for big breakthroughs, and just the sheer excitement of acute MIs and other acute stuff. but thinking about it, here's my thoughts. i find interventional cards very exciting, but i don't think i'll want to do that for 30-40 years. and besides, with cardiac CTs and MRs and better drugs, interventional cards may not have that great of a future. imaging i think has a great future... but...i didn't go into radiology, why should i do cardiac imaging? it's essentially being a radiologist. i don't think i have the patience to do EP studies, and general cards doesn't seem too fun. i guess the cards stuff i find most interesting may be heart failure/ccu stuff.
also, more i think about it, more i think i may want to stay in academics. sure, there's great money in private practice, but i enjoy the academic environment. and cards research isn't nearly as exciting as research in the area i am now considering, which is... heme/onc.
i really liked my month of hematology - treating AML patients. patients are nice in heme/onc, and i actually feel real empathy towards these patients. and research is much more promising/interesting in heme/onc - especially basic research. i actually like palliative care too. and attendings/fellows are abit nicer in heme/onc. money's not as great in private practice as cards, but it's enough and hours are better. and fellowship is 3 years.
so i'm going to meet with one of the attendings i worked with later this week to talk. we'll see what happens. but balance is tipped towards heme/onc for now.Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: Mott The Hoople - All The Young Dudes (Juno OST) |
| » a year in pictures |
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2007 was a very memorable year for me. it was the year where i had the most fun, went through a huge transition in life and career; also a year where i made very valuable memories with existing friends and family, and also made new friends. here's a reflection of my 2007 in pictures.
our ski trip to park city over new years  last movie night at my domion place  and cooking and watching entourage at our (well, very briefly so) brickell place  the redlands tour  drinking before bowling at strikes  about to take our class photos... with scrub botttoms  matching  ... and scrambling  and celebrating...  enjoying the beach  and spontaneous trips to palm beach  and concerts  graduating  trips to chicago  korea  bahamas  italy  some people got married (jamie's)  nabil's wedding  i moved to birmingham  where i made new friends  ate greek food  learned how to paint  almost sank in middle of a lake  intern's retreat  shrinesh cooking for us  thanksgiving  christmas party  christmas trip to whistler 
it was an excellent year. hope 2008 is just as great. for me, and for everyone.
Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 07:48 pm
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| » law number one: gomers don't die |
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i'm sorry i haven't updated this thing more often. i was partly busy, partly somewhat uninspired to write. half-way through my intern year i am still alive and doing okay. and i have friends i have whom i go out to dinner and drink and do stuff with, so while not exciting by any means, life is satisfactory. (don't worry, i haven't replaced you guys!)
anyways i am coming off of the micu month, and recently i started to re-read "the house of god." back when i read it for the first time, which i think was right before i started med school, i thought it was funny and sarcastic but i couldn't fully relate to the book. now as i go back and read the book, i can relate to the stuff a lot more and i think it's funny because i can relate to some of the ridiculous things that go on in the book.
let's take for example the first rule of the house of god: gomers don't die. such an accurate rule - these admits from nursing home are sometimes so resilient - they get hit by sepsis, shock, whatever and they refuse to die! one of my patients in the micu was this 98 year old with advanced dementia from the nursing home with no family/friends who belonged to no one (used to belong to the state but they released her in 06) who came to our ER for urosepsis. she came before i took her over, but the story is she came with a sign on her chest that said "i'm full code" (who knows who put that thing there)... so she was given the whole sepsis ordeal - intubated and sepsis protocol and everything. by the time i took her over, she was still febrile, and there was no way she could get off of the vent. so after consulting with ethics and palliative and risk management, we decided to make her comfort care/dnr - we took away her antibiotics, nutrition, potassium repletion, etc. she just gets morphine and we kept her on the vent. that was two weeks ago. as of yesterday when i left the micu she was still going strong - good bp, nothing on telemetry, 100% sat... amazing.... these gomers are so damn resilient. poor bastards...
i am sititng at the b'ham airport for my week off (we get either christmas or new years week off). i'm going to whistler for my annual skiing... i'm so excited! they have fresh snow and stuff. man, i badly needed this...
anyways, i hope everyone has a merry christmas, and a great new years as well.
Dec. 21st, 2007 @ 05:48 pm
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| » birmingham update |
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it's been some time since i've written anything about my life in birmingham, so here's alittle update and pictures.
hospital-wise, it's not bad so far. i am just coming off of one month of ambulatory, which was a joke... i skipped a lot of clinics and felt like i was a 2nd year medical student, just shadowing. i enjoyed the schedule, but not the experience. i think i got dumber from the rotation. right now, i am on GI wards, which isn't bad for a ward service. call is q5, fast turn-over, and i am post-post call carrying one patient. maybe i'm lucky.. i guess i still have the white cloud. i've actually had it ridiculously easy so far and am known around other interns to have the white cloud right now... i know it won't last so i'm dreading when my luck changes.
outside of hospital, life is as good as it can be in birmingham. i have a regular group of people (mostly the few single people in my program) that i hang out with, and i do stuff like go out drinking, eat out, etc. the only complaint i have is that these southerners care way too much about college football! my god, i am so sick of hearing about who's playing who this weekend, who beat who, etc. who cares?!?!?! we are way past college. move on, people. talk about something more interesting. maybe i am slightly biased since my college football stank (yay, quakers?!), and my med school team isn't so great right now either and i have nothing to contribute to the college football discussion people have at bars.
anyways, a few pictures:
the other weekend we went to a park called oak mountain, and rented a boat over the lake. it was actually quite nice, until we realized that there was a hole in the boat that we're supposed to plug with a plug but didn't plug and the boat started to slowly sink in middle of the lake.
the lake  shrinesh, me, ashima relaxing 
this weekend there was a greek food festival downtown at a greek church. i didn't even know greek people lived in birmingham, but there was a great turnout of people, with excellent food and wine and music.
people dancing on stage  ali, me, ricardo (whose best friend, julio, apparently is zarina's co-intern at jackson! what a small world!)
there was also a jazz festival downtown this weekend, which had good music and crowd too
and tonight we checked out this great restaurant called bottega, a pricey, but excellent italian place. we sat around outside, had great food and wine. it's fall so weather was soooo nice.....
ashia, ali, ricardo, me  ricardo and me 
so you'll notice that people i hang out with are minorities (actually, mostly brown). i do have a token white friend, but all non-minorities (i.e. white people) are married and don't do anything!! how lame.
so social life is possible in birmingham, and so far, intern year isn't so bad. almost 1/3 way done after this month!!!
Sep. 29th, 2007 @ 11:57 pm
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| » atl |
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last weekend i visited danny and susie over at atlanta with shilpa who flew up from miami.
as expected, it was an excellent weekend - we went out to a ghetto, yet very cool place called mjq (it really was kind of ghetto - took cash only, i think we were the only non-black people in there! but it was really fun... crowd was really enthusiastic, especially when songs change... black people have more fun), and also to opera, a mansion-like club in atlanta. we also ate good food, checked out the aquarium, which is excellent as well.
it was just really nice to hang out with susie, danny, shilpa... i am starting to make friends down here at birmingham, but i don't think anyone can really replace danny, shilpa, susie, and all the med school friends. i guess we just know each other and can be comfortable around each other. i'm glad i live somewhat close to atlanta - i'll definitely have to visit more when i have more time.
some pics from atlanta:
at mjq  danny!  at danny's place  the aquarium  shilpa by the very friendly looking beluga whale 
Sep. 19th, 2007 @ 11:43 pm
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| » home |
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i can't believe my week of vacation went by so quickly! i don't feel like i've done much of anything, yet the week went by pretty quickly. it was nice though to eat home cooked meal, and sleep in until whenever and not worry about pre-rounding or my pager going off. it was just nice to escape from the medical world for a bit.
a few pictures from my week at home:
a family trip to the beach!
jungmin turned 21 recently - him with my gift.
with shilpa in miami (actually at a la folie...i miss you sonia!).
it was somewhat weird to be in miami; everything was very familiar yet i felt like i was a visitor. it was really great to see shilpa, but it was sad how the dynamics/conversations have changed alittle since we were all in miami. that was to be expected, but it was still sad. i guess i miss the old life in miami with everyone. i am also sad i missed zarina this time around, but i'm sure i'll see her in my next trip to miami. i am glad though, that i got to see shilpa's fantastic new place - it really has a great view, nicely furnished.
this was likely my last visit to miami/south florida in a while - my program doesn't give guaranteed golden weekends, i'll be in canada for christmas, boston for my other week of vacation in june, and hopefully some other country for my last week of vacation.
i was glad to be back - i didn't realize it but i think i needed the break. now, back to ambulatory when i get back.... i hate clinics but i love the schedule.
Sep. 9th, 2007 @ 01:27 am
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| » world according to americans? |
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an amusing illustration i stumbled upon today. notice how the whole continent of africa doesn't even exist. very ignorant and wrong, but in this age of political correctness bullshit, i find this drawing oddly amusing.
anyways, i am home for a week in south florida. how wonderfully nice it is to just sit around and do absolutely nothing.
Sep. 3rd, 2007 @ 01:17 pm
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| » drunken monkeys |
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my complex had this meet-your-neighbors over hot dog and beer gathering today so i got to meet some of my fellow neighbors for the first time. pretty interesting mix of people, and most are young and urban-type. not the rednecks you would imagine in birmingham. there was a industrial designer, civil engineer, attorney (toxic chemicals), sound engineer, fashion coordinator for the saks, and a judge. most were like... you live here? i've never seen you around...
anyways, one of them told me about kickball - a once a month kickball thing where people who live downtown gather once a month and play kickball with beer. i decided to check it out. it was pretty fun - this 60-70 year old lady was like the ring leader, and she brought a gigantic keg of beer, and one of the rules was you have to play with a cup on your hand and it had to be at least half full of beer. a very interesting time, indeed. the team i played with was named "drunken monkeys," and we lost - actually got dominated - score was something like 23-8. i did have a few good kicks and catches, though.
here is a pic of people gathering around at change of innings to reload the beer cups:
i'm slowly getting more adjusted to birmingham - making more friends, meeting more people, finding out about more social (and drinking opportunities). sure, it's not quite the fun as the time we had in miami (who can beat that?), and i am not having quite the life susie and danny are having over in atlanta, but it's still fun, in a different, more relaxed and grown-up kind of way.
i'm getting old, i guess.
Aug. 26th, 2007 @ 08:38 pm
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| » sips and strokes |
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the other night, i found out about this thing called "sips and strokes." basically it's a class where you bring wine/beer/beverage of choice, pay certain amount, and they provide equipment and show you how to paint a painting. an interesting concept, huh? so instead of doing whatever i do whatever i would do on a friday night (which nowadays in birmingham is not much..), i decided to check it out with ashima, one of my fellow interns.
beginning of the class  my sketch  work in progress....  the finished product!  ashima and me with the finished products
it does look somewhat like some elementary kids' art project, but i was happy with how it turned out since i haven't painted since i was little. it was a very fun night - i guess birmingham isn't full of rednecks and their redneck activities after all.
as far as hospital goes, i'm doing cards this month, and it's fantastic. attendings are awesome, work is surprisngly light so far, and the nurses and the hospital is amazing. so far so good!!
Aug. 12th, 2007 @ 09:10 pm
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| » koreans in afghanistan |
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a big news these days in korea is the abduction of 23 koreans in afghanistan. they were part of a christian group who supposedly went there to give humanitarian and medical aids to the war-striken, poor country. they were abducted a few days ago, and one of them, a pastor, has been found dead recently, while the lives of the others are currently under negotiation.
while i am all for helping out those who need help, i am not entirely convinced these people went there strictly to provide aid, knowing the nature of korean christians. i was browsing youtube and stumbled upon the following clip:
man, if that's what they were really doing in afghanistan... i believe people should believe in whatever religion they want, but why must people try to convert others, especially vulnerable little children in a entirely different culture, to their religion? i do wish all those kidnapped make it back okay (i think very unlikely), but i gotta say, they were asking for trouble when they started doing religious stuff in a dangerous muslim world like afghanistan.
Jul. 26th, 2007 @ 04:27 pm
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| » time of death: 2:13AM |
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scene I:
(on call room, the coop...i have just kinda fallen asleep, when my page goes off. i begrudgingly dial the number)
me: ...hi, this is dr. lee i was paged....
nurse: hi, dr. lee. this is so-and-so at the palliative unit and i need you to come and pronounce mr. g.
me: (oh damn, i've never pronounced someone before, what do i do, what do i do?!) sure, i'll be down.
(i turn on the lights, grab my coat and put on my shoes, head down. i'm tempted to wake up my resident, but i don't since i figure i can't really screw up a dead person)
scene II:
(palliative unit)
me: (to the nurse) hi... um....i've never pronounced someone before... what do i do?
nurse: patient's in room so-and-so, here's his chart and the form you're supposed to complete.
(i look at the chart and forms... it's actually not too bad. the patient had metastatic prostate cancer and the form doesn't look too bad)
me: so... what is time of death? is that the time i decide?
nurse: yeah... he's been dead since 1:45, but you have to see him and officially pronounce him. his family is in there too, so go right in. oh, btw, can you ask the family if they would like to donate any organs?
(damn, his family's there too?! what am i supposed to do?!)
scene III:
(room so-and-so, mr. g is lying in his bed, his family member are there)
me: hello, i'm dr. lee, the physician covering the hospital and i was told that mr. g has passed away and i guess i'm supposed to examine him.
(i look at mr. g. at first i have no idea what i'm supposed to do. i figure i'll start with the pulse, so i feel his pulse. there are none, and he's cold. then i listen to his heart... nothing. i'm pretty sure he's dead so i kind of pretend to listen to his non-existent breath. i look at my watch, it's 2:13AM)
me: (being awkward to the family) so mr. g. has passed away, time of death is 2:13 AM. do you have any questions?
family: no.
me: i'm supposed to ask if you would like to donate any of his organs. would you be interested?
family: not really.
me: (suddenly remembering that a person they care about has died and i'm supposed say something to show i care even though i've never seen this person before and i really want to climb back to bed) i'm sorry for your loss.
(i say that to each of two family members, then exit)
scene IV:
(back at nursing station, i fill out the death certificate and then head back up. i actually forgot to write a death-note... i remembered that after i left the hospital... but whatever, person is dead and if they want a note from me, they can page me)
Jul. 22nd, 2007 @ 02:27 pm
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| » yoga and stuff |
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i've been a lazyass these days... i haven't really ran much these days, haven't been to the gym in ages. so today i finally dragged myself to the gym. i really didn't know this before i came here, but uab is a full university - with undergrads and stuff. meaning it has a very large and fantastic gym. it's kind of like the undergrad wellness center at UM, but better and newer - has indoor rockclimbing, indoor tracks, swimming pool stuff, free classes, etc.
since i enjoyed myself so much that time susie and shilpa took me to yoga class, i checked out the yoga class today. i don't think the yoga instructor was as good as the one from miami, but it still was pretty relaxing. i think i'm a convert to yoga... perhaps i'll check it out whenever i can. (they have yoga everyday!) i even managed to make friends with a fellow intern who happened to check out the yoga class too. it was a good trip to the gym...but that yoga class kinda made me miss that first yoga class i went to with susie and shilpa.
intern year still isn't too bad. my patients aren't really that sick and work isn't that bad. i have my med students writing progress notes on half of my patients so i can't complain. actually i think i'm kind of bored with my patients. as much as we bitched about patients in jackson, i guess patients aren't as sick and diverse in other places, especially in middle of nowhere like b'ham. i kind of want some exciting patient... i want something... like a massive STEMI or something (no cath lab in this crummy hospital so i would get to push thrombolytics)......
Jul. 9th, 2007 @ 07:40 pm
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| » first week |
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post-call today - it was my first overnight call. last night actually wasn't too bad at all - ZERO admissions for me! going into call i was carrying 5 patients and my partner was carrying 1 so my resident let him take the first 5 - of those, 2 transferred to UAB, and no one came in after those. one of my patients destabilized in the micu (open micu so we take care of people in micu too) so i took care of that, did some cross-covering, and sat around with my med students. and i got 3.5 hours of sleep... not a bad first overnight call. next overnight is 4th of july... hopefully that won't be too bad either, who knows.
speaking of med students, there's two on my team, and they're so eager! i guess it's beginning of third year... give them a month or so and they'll get equally jaded. one interesting thing though... we were sitting around for lunch and i was talking to them about miami and one of them KNEW SHMUEL! apparently she came to miami for that AMSA conference (i had no idea people from out of state really came), went to some shmuel events, and she even gets his emails! i thought it was pretty hilarious how shmuel is known by someone over here.
first week hasn't been so bad - they are holding conferences and clinic for the first two weeks so all we have to is floor work. so i've been getting out at 12:30-1 everday. not so bad... i think i'll sign up for the gym and maybe look around for research or something. or maybe i'll work on my social life since that's kinda lacking right now. or... maybe i should just read since my knowledge isn't exactly up to par or impressive right now.
Jul. 1st, 2007 @ 06:06 pm
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| » survived! |
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survived first day of being a doctor. got paged a few times, but thankfully i knew the answers. on the positive side, it feels great to be able to sign my own orders and stuff. alittle different from being a subi.
got out at 2 because i was inefficient. will shoot for earlier... although i am still carrying 6 patients (and i'm on call on tuesday). not good. gotta get rid of some patients. what can i do to make them leave ama...............
Jun. 24th, 2007 @ 08:07 pm
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| » starting |
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tomorrow is my start day. i start with 5 weeks of wards at the county hospital (called cooper green, or "coop") followed by a month of cards.
so i went to the coop the other day to get computer access codes and parking and to check it out. it's a tiny county hospital, compared to jackson (only 100 beds). but man.... i had thought that a hospital can't get worse than jackson. conditions seem truly third-world. no dedicated micu team (open micu so if my patients go there, i take care of it), no code team, no pacs, no radiology residents, etc etc. call is q4, overnight every other call and on friday and saturday. the intern i'm replacing has 3-4 patients (depending on discharge), and he was on call yesterday and got 3 more patients. doesn't sound too good does it. strangely enough though, the intern tells me that he usually gets out by noon (!). maybe because the hospital is so bad there's not much that gets done in the afternoon? i don't know... hopefully it won't be too bad and i'll survive.
when i first got my pager i thought it was kinda cool, but that coolness is very rapidly turning into annoyance already. i got paged twice by my resident already (i haven't even started yet!), and i get annoyed whenever that pager goes off. maybe i should change it to a more pleasant ringtone, but i don't think that'll make any difference.
Jun. 23rd, 2007 @ 11:51 am
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| » the dreaded orientation and start |
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today was first day of orientation. to quote shilpa's text (which by the way made my day since i was so.... bored to death in the auditorium), i can't believe we're interns! today was just GME orientation... basically sat in a auditorium from 7-4 while they went on and on about stuff like benefits, hipaa, risk management, nursing, etc, etc. very boring day.
i think it was orientation for every new intern/fellows/whatevers in the hospital so i got to see what everyone looked like. man, what a stark difference from miami. instead of the latin americans, it's all white... the girls are all blond and married, dudes all have that southern look. it's like being in a room full of (shorter) kevin golden's and maria glens. of course, not that many asians.
i got to talk to a few of my medicine people and the chiefs, and they're all very nice and cool. seems very down to earth, easy to talk to. and the people i talked to were around my age. it was kind of a relief to talk to other people who shared my nervousness about starting. i think it'll be okay.
oh, got one of my IDs today...i'm still am not used to that M.D. after my name... and that resident title too. (well, not really a resident though..)
Jun. 18th, 2007 @ 08:42 pm
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| » new life in b'ham |
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it's saturday and i think i am finally (almost) done settling into my new home, b'ham. it's been quite a pain-in-the ass to move and settle - i shipped a lot of stuff from coral springs on monday, left on monday (we drove), got to b'ham on tuesday, went to atlanta to get stuff from ikea on wednesday, spent thursday and friday assembling furniture and getting more stuff, and today, unpacking and stuff.
ikea is really great - some of you know that i'm a big fan - but when you get an entire set of furnitures, assembly can take a long time, work, and patience. but if you don't mind carrying heavy furniture home and assembling, it's cheap, affordable, and looks nice.
my loft - everything is brand new - i'm the first one to live here, which can be a good or bad thing. when i moved in, there was dust and hot water didn't work, so they had to try to fix it and then bring in a whole new unit. but, all the appliances are clean and new, the place just feels clean. there's nothing immediately around here, but it's close to the hospital and other eateries (b'ham isn't a big city). one downside though, my unit is next to the back entrance to the building - with thin wall, which means i hear people walking in and out. but thankfully, that doens't happen too often. a cool unit, i don't know if i'll stay after this year though.
b'ham - surprisingly nice. i'm liking this place more and more. everyone is super-nice, small city so everything is only a few blocks away. no traffic!! weather is not nearly as hot and humid as miami. surprisingly excellent eateries - i've discovered so far a very authentic and tasty italian neapolitan eatery only a few blocks away and excellent bbq places. better than superficial miami crap.
i start orientations on monday. i'm actually nervous as hell since i know nothing! it's been ages since i've seen and worked up an actual patient... i hope it comes back quick. and it's a brand new hospital system. we'll see how it goes.
hope everyone is doing well, settling in okay. miss you all.
some pictures:
what my loft looked like before... with jungmin and dad in the picture  after  jungmin and me at dreamland bbq. yummy..... 
p.s.
i took a few more pictures of my loft later...my place looks like it's out of an ikea catalogue or something... i'll post since my place will never be as clean as it is now.
Jun. 16th, 2007 @ 05:45 pm
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| » goodbye, florida |
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so it's approaching the end of my long break and start of the dreadful intern year. i've really enjoyed my time off - from match day, match day partying, road trip to b'ham, korea, senior cruise, senior week, graduation, italy, toronto, to relaxing at home, it's been a phenomenal 3 months or so. i couldn't have asked for more - i got more traveling than i could have hoped for, i spent quality time with everyone i cared about, and i got to relax too.
i am ready to move on, but this moving on process is a lot of work. i have to purchase new furniture (from ikea, i think), ship most of my stuff (i was going to drive up everything in a cargo van, but shippping isn't that much more expensive it turns out), buy some more clincial clothes, a new computer, arrange for stuff like dsl and power, fill out residency paperwork, go to social security office (to correct the spelling on my card), and i have to drive up in a couple of days. i am excited about starting in a new place, but man i hate moving.
anyways, i will miss miami and florida. it's not good-bye forever, but it's been an awesome four years and it's good-bye to those years.
we had our last meal for real (but not really last meal - as shilpa pointed out, last meal was ouzo's, everything after is different since it's after graduation), got to see asha, shilpa, susie, andrew, geoff for the last time in a while. zarina and hess, i'll see tomorrow at nabil's.
signing off from coral springs.
Jun. 9th, 2007 @ 02:50 am
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| » last dinner and graduation |
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i know i said i wouldn't write for a while, but here's another entry about dinner and graduation.
last night asha, sejal, shilpa and i went out to ouzo's, a little greek restaurant on normandy island for what may be our last dinner in miami together for a while. food was actually really good, one of the few times in miami where i was happy with the food.
i got asha cake.  us. 
so tonight was graduation. i thought it would be emotional, but i think it was too hectic for me to absorb the feelings of graduation. while i realize there will no longer be miami for me, it's a concept i find hard to grasp right now. maybe it'll hit me sometime. maybe i'll just be too busy with traveling to be sad and just move on. anyways, here's a few pictures.
me and tarun before walking  group shot  with shilpa  with anand and danny  my anatomy group, reunited.  we're doctors!!  with asha  with parents  with hess  with andrew  with danny  with sonia  with nabil  with anand  with susie!  with sejal and andrew  with the newly-wed jamie  group picture, minus anand. i'm sorry man. with chris  with linh and rony and hess  with danielle  too busy eating free food... 
congratulations to drs. ahmad, bhatt, chen, chopra, eapen, huang, motorwala, panjeton, rajendra, subrahmanian, vora!
May. 13th, 2007 @ 12:56 am
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| » senior banquet and a little tribute to all |
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tonight was senior banquet at parrot jungle. 5 hours of open bar, great ambience... it was a good banquet. (except for the latin crap music the band was playing) after that we headed to prive for what may be our last outing together. thanks to schmuel, we got the vip treatment - vip, free bottles of vodka, table service.... a fun night and a fitting end to our outings.
some pics:
the girls, looking gorgeous, as always.  the guys, except for andrew  the guys, with andrew but without anand  sejal with the anesthesia award. congrats!  hess dancing with... alex...?  with sejal  at prive, our table  bottle service!  with tarun. (this was a self shot... he has incredibly long arms so these shots look good)  the girls  with shilpa. (not so long arms)  drunk pics!  more drunk pics. even hess looks drunk.  susie with rony  hess loves to dance  with linh  a long night? 
anyways, here's what i was originally going to write about:
so last night's game night didn't go quite as anticipated, but i am glad all of us got a chance to at least share a moment together. it's emotional crap, but really, it's been a phenomenal 4 years of my life and i am really thankful that i was able to share it with all of you.
so here's a little tribute from me to everyone, in no particular order:
asha:
what can i say, i probably owe you an endless amount of cake. that trip to tampa (to your house) was really fun, even with your bad directions. and that boring summer (after 1st year?) where me and andrew were bored and harrassed you with papa johns and watched the mystic river, that was very memorable too. i will miss your lunch texts, boredomness, movies at south beach, calls about dinners.
sonia:
what can i say. you're like a mother to me. you brought me into the group, and for that i am infinitely thankful. that first trip to the keys was really fun, and thanks for giving me a ride - with andrew and chris dy. oh, thanks for that sharp turn too! we haven't talked as much as we used to, but i will miss those late night IMs, your quirky musics, your sexual innuendos.
danny:
to the man who loves spontaneousness and going with the flow. i've enjoyed all of our spontaneous outings (like going to mansion during call in trauma), our movie nights (with alcohol), our down to earth talks. you got me hooked on entourage, and for that i'm really thankful. i will miss everything we've done in miami - the miami experience really wouldn't have been the same without you.
hess:
i don't actually remember seeing you in that umberto martinez's group first day. you're my dominion buddy, and i will miss everything we had in dominion, from those really awkward meetings with (silent) sandy first year to spontaneous visits to your place. (playing halo and watching wonder years) i will miss our inside jokes, our smirks, the fact that we have the same wavelength in certain things, everything we used to talk about in the gym, your obsession with using firefox, our talks, and the "sorry i can't come home for supper."
sejal:
that beach day was among the best days ever! i will miss your sense of humour, your excellent food (great quesadillas), and our talks about our special friends. along with shilpa below, i enjoyed skiing with you (especially you guys's scary but funny downhill run the first time!)
shilpa:
to one of the nicest people i've ever known. i will miss your easygoing-nature, willingness to listen to whatever i have to say, your advices (and pearls) on relationships, your training for me. i am glad i got to share our first voting experience, although obviously the candidate we were rooting for lost. along with susie, thank you for taking me to yoga today; it really was relaxing and i felt calm afterward - i may try out some more yoga in b'ham.
zarina:
first, thank you for letting me use your bedroom for the past couple of months. i also have you to thank for organizing that infamous game night where i got the bottle thrown at. i will miss the talks we used to have, the random trips with the jimmy, the game nights.
andrew:
you've been a great friend to me, especially times involving alcohol. i am thankful for being there for me that infamous new years party couple of years ago. i am sorry you missed that countdown as you sat in the sidewalks outside of purdy lounge with me. that little green book you organized was the best present ever. i will miss our interest for movies, beer, gym gossip, poking fun at people.
susie:
to my incredibly wonderful roomate. i am glad our co-habitance went along relatively well without any major bottle-throwing incidents. i will miss the spanish classes we used to go with andrew (no se?), somewhat awkward dinners when we ate at the same time, your ability to be so understanding, the relationship pearls, your contageous laughter. you're the only one in our group who truly share our interest to get drunk - i will miss that bond.
anand:
anand, anand. so many memories. the amendment 3 stuff (like taping YES on NO signs, confronting lawyers in front of the courthouse) is one that particularly sticks out. also, i enjoyed the countless rides on roxie. i will miss the random "aspirin" urges during the day, your willingness to be ballsy, our trips, and hanging out at my place after drinking. i look forward to our trip to italy and toronto!
nabil:
you got me interested in hookah and cigar - you bastard. (j/k) you're a true family man but i enjoyed those times we hung out, from clubbing to ranting about relationship stuff. best of luck in the wedding, and i look to seeing you in toronto.
this may be my last entry for alittle bit. don't worry, blog won't end - it will continue as i go through a transition period in my life. my friends, you guys will always remain valuable to me, and good luck to all of you as you start a new chapter in your life as well.
May. 11th, 2007 @ 04:50 am
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